The Countown

Just a call home to see how he is
Talk of light topics like soda fizz

Our conversations are of happy tone
After initial bitch, growl and moan

Superheroes and an upcoming movie
If I'd wait to see it, that'd be groovy.

Just half a year more
No and if, or
Then comes the screaming
And all this is dreaming

He expects resolution like magic
Which makes the truth tragic
That I've known all along
That he's always been wrong

I know what the world is
It's rules are not his
But I'll keep up the lie
And pray he will buy
That I didn't know
When have our row

After too many years
And too many fears
We're finally talking
And not just walking
He's the dad from when I was five
Before my grades took a dive

He's the man who adored me
Before I took home all D
And he demanded to know what I did
Like I wasn't just a confused kid
I never got over it
When I found out the bit
That I had my limit
He would just skim it

Even when my things got better
It wasn't about that first letter
It was about a forgotten chore
Or how I didn't lock the door
I got straight A's in high school
But if I broke a rule
He'd made sure I heard him
On every passing whim

Two seconds of glory
For every task I excelled in
And then comes the query
"Did you take out the bin?"

There to defend me
From dangers inside and out
But if flaw did he see
Would he begin to pout

He claims not to want perfect
But if you give any less
He'll make it seem not worth it
If impressing him is the quest

With timeime spent apart
There's room in my heart
To be his child again
If I could just not think
Of six months time when
All this progress goes down the sink

I can't live for him
I can't live on his whim
It takes too much effort
For no chance of reward
Knowing he'll be curt
When heart and soul poured

He says one thing like it changes another
Like one limit negates the other
Oh he'll hand out the blame
When no one plays the game
He is shocked and annoyed
Like he was somehow ployed

If I release the wrong sigh
I hate that I have to lie
But he hates the truth
Ever uncouth

But until that frost
I have found what I'd lost
I was sure I could only hate and resent
Despise that he was ever present
Finally he is my father, not dad
But now it only makes me sad
Because I know it will not last
Before it's a thing of the past

There is nothing I can do
And I am ripped in two
As I count down the days
Until I fear our parting of ways