Let's Talk Consent

Recently as I'm sure you've heard, In Ohio a 16-Year-Old girl was gang raped by members of a high school football team. I don't know all the details myself, but I do know that the media has chosen to...sympathize with the footballers who raped her and put it on youtube? Because we should allow monsters to get away with heinous crimes, so they can have a good life after they've ruined another?

Details about the incident in question found here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/17/steubenville-rape-trial-verdict_n_2895541.html

When it comes to this sort of thing, I've kind of old fashioned. An eye for an eye. They ruined a life, in return, their own rights to a good life are forfeit. I hate when a tragedy comes up, something like this or poor Tyler Clementi ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Tyler_Clementi for details) and the defense is "lets not ruin another life over this". The heck with that. If you are responsible for causing the destruction or pain and suffering someone because you were being a dick, or worse, you deserve everything the law can throw at you.

Firstly my heart goes out to this poor girl. Not only has one of the most heinous acts a human can do to another been done to her, her rapists are being made to look like the victims of this situation. I heard somewhere they attempted (and failed, thank what little good there is left in the world) to use the defense that it was consensual because she didn't say no.

I also wish I could say this was the first time I'd heard this defense. It's not. It is true, no means no. But that does not mean lack of no means yes. So let's talk about consent

• If someone gets punched, we don't assume the victim allowed it.
• If someone steals, we don't assume the victim consented because they didn't say no.
• If someone commits murder, we don't assume the victim was willing because they were unconscious.

Do you see the point? Now I shall talk about the definition of consent, according to several online dictionaries.

Dictionary.com Says:

Consent:

1. As a Verb: "To permit, approve, or agree; comply or yield (often followedby to  or an infinitive): He consented to the proposal. We asked her permission, and she consented."
2. As a Noun: "Permission, approval, or agreement; compliance; acquiescence:He gave his consent to the marriage."

See the pattern? Neither of these are passive. I've heard the term "dubious consent". Here's the thing. That's not consent. Unless the person in question says "yes", there is no consent. So if the person in question is unable to consent, that does not count as consent.

Next up: Merriam Webster Online.

1. As a Verb: : "to give assent or approval : agree <consent to being tested>"

Do you see the pattern yet? Consent is not a passive act. You can rape someone without them saying no. If they are unable to speak, consider it rape. If they are unable to say no, consider it rape. If they are unable to say yes, consider it rape. If they do not actively express that it is okay, consider it rape!

Capiche?

Furthermore. The whole "the victim might be lying". The victim didn't put the photos and video on the net. That was her rapists being dicks, as previously mentioned.

The digital age. Ruining lives worse then ever because people can be dumb dicks when they commit illegal acts. Making defense attorneys cringe every day.

The 3 Degrees of Donna Noble: Dating Tips for the Doctor Who Fan

What are the Degrees of Donna Noble, you ask? They are as follows:

• Love: When you grow up, you want to be Donna Noble
• Indifferent: She's a companion, cool, different, or just okay.
• Hate: She was such a bitch!

 I recently found myself in an interesting perspective. I was talking with a guy I had previously crushed on (for unrelated reasons the crush has passed). Now, I hadn't completely removed him from "datable" as a possibility, but that wasn't mentioned.

It turned out he'd gotten Netflix and had been watching much of Doctor Who. So I immediately asked (well, almost immediately), "Didn't you love Donna?"

The answer was no. He found her bossy, and a bit of a bitch. His words, not mine.

I love her (yes, would like to grow up and be her) because she doesn't put up with nonsense and isn't afraid to speak her mind-not even to a Time Lord!

It was not the first time I removed someone from my list of "datable" for what could be considered a superfluous reason. But I realized why it irked me today.

They think she's bossy and a bitch for all the reason I love her. Donna Noble is loved by some and hated by others for the exact same reasons.

I love Donna because she is assertive, speaks her mind, demands more then the minimum effort, and doesn't let guide lines someone else wrote rule her life.
He hated Donna because she let her voice be heard, didn't settle, and defied the rules where and whenever she could.

He hated all the things about Donna I want to be brave enough to emulate someday.
Thus, the two of us were not compatible. Because some day if we did get together, when I didn't settle for him doing the bare minimum of anything in the relationship, he'd call me a bitch.

So, to my fellow Whovians who are trying to date and or are dating. Talk to the person you're thinking of emotionally investing in. Of course, they know what Doctor Who is, right? No? Okay, you've already got problems, but that one is easily fixed. (If they don't like Who at all, trouble in the future).

When you get through the seasons of Doctor Who if you have to, and you've exposed this person to Donna Noble. Find out what they think of her.

Do they like her? Love her? Hate her? How about you?
Do you like her? Love her? Hate her?

If one party has a strong opinion, and the other is indifferent, shouldn't be an issue.
If both parties agree one way or other, great!
If both parties have strong opinions in opposite directions? Rock waters lie ahead.

Story Idea: Dana Wallace and the Faye

Dana Wallace is sixteen, and a teenage girl with fantasies of, well, fantasy. Enter Puck, the fairy jester of Oberon's court. Hijinx ensue, with a flavor of romance. A work in progress, naming each of the chapters after elements of nature.